


Desolation of the Soul

by Sabbath (I_AKnownGay)



Category: One Piece
Genre: Angst, Dreams and Nightmares, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mild Blood, Pining, tags pending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-24
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-15 22:28:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28945914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_AKnownGay/pseuds/Sabbath
Summary: Heal my heart with sadness.Zoro makes an unfortunate mistake and must go on a journey to sooth and piece together his heart. Luffy longs for a time in which he can sleep soundly once more.
Relationships: Monkey D. Luffy/Roronoa Zoro
Comments: 2
Kudos: 24





	Desolation of the Soul

Zoro was on his knees surrounded by the people who had pledged themselves to Luffy. It was the same ship that ferried them from Dressrosa to Zoa. That was such a long time ago that Zoro could hardly remember what he even felt like. Had he realised by then, what he really felt towards his captain? Did he ever think something like this could happen? He remembered the cups of sake and the respect everyone felt for their captain when he explained why he wouldn't drink from the father cup. Technically, Zoro was the one who drank from the father cup and was the one the executives were bound to but no one thought that way seriously. This crew had never been a simple or traditional one and so they knew that Luffy, whilst not in the classic sense, excepted them all as his own. It was such a cheerful time, a victory for so many. It was a stark contrast to the situation Zoro found himself in now.

Those who had respected him, looked ashamed and saddened. Those he saw as family could not meet his eye. His head hung low as he waited for judgement from his captain. The agony of what he did cut deep into his heart. There was no way he could excuse himself.

Somehow he thought he could trust his teacher, the man known as the world's greatest swordsman. He had trained under Mihawk for two years all in order to better support Luffy. Zoro had misplaced in his mind that even though Mihawk was no longer beholden to the world government or its navy, he was still an enemy. Zoro should have known better. The lies he was told and the supposed evidence he was given, it all caused this disgrace.

Luffy stood up from where he had been sitting on the deck. He had been listening to people's testimonies about the events that led them there. He wasn't present at the time and even though he trusted everyone around him, he was finding it hard to believe Zoro could do such a thing. Many of the witnesses were bandaged, supported by others and in need of rest. They couldn't, however, miss these events. Everyone held their breath as they waited for the captain to speak.

"Zoro...." Luffy's voice was quiet at first but he took a second to compose himself before lifting his head to look at the swordsman and continue.

"Zoro, is everything they said true? Is there anything they missed?" He asked without emotion, suppressing his urge to scream at the other.

Zoro thought back. He had hurt many members of the executives followers. He had fatally wounded a few of them. He attacked and wounded Robin, Sanji and Brook. Sanji was the worst off. They were trying to stop him from the huge mistake he was making, not knowing why their beloved crew member had gone wild. It was out of no where to the others but to Zoro it did take contemplation. He never intended his own crew mates to get involved. He thought he had mastered his sword, Enma. Evidently, he hadn't expected to be taken over by the demon, his fighting urges accelerated and fed into by the sword. But that was no excuse, he knew that. The cook wasn't present at the meeting. He was still unconscious, clinging to life. He probably would have died if it weren't for Chopper and Law being their to save him. For this, Zoro was extremely grateful.

Zoro looked up at his captain, his usual scowl replaced by a desperately apologetic visage.

"No captain, I hurt them. I didn't stop myself. I'm sorry I couldn't stop myself."

"Would the reason make a difference?" Luffy asked almost to himself.

"I don't think so." Replied Zoro in shame.

Luffy put a hand to his hat pulling it down over his eyes. No one had said anything, no suggestions had been made about what should happen to Zoro. But there had been whispers. Will Luffy excommunicate Zoro from the straw hats. Would he throw away his first mate. 

Luffy couldn't say it. He didn't really know if he should. Even after everything. The last time Luffy had to dismiss a crew mate, Zoro was there to comfort and advise him. This time, he thought he would have to do his captain the kindness of dismissing himself rather than wait for an answer. However, before Zoro could speak, Luffy finally gave his verdict.

"You are free to follow your dreams. I wouldn't take that from you..."

Zoro's heart tightened to a suffocating extent.

Luffy's voice was shaking.

"It's time you followed those dreams on your own."

Nami covered her mouth with a hand. The other straw hats were scattered among the crowd of the executive's crews. Zoro couldn't see all of them but he could feel them. He wanted to say sorry to them, he wanted to reach out and explain but, like they agreed earlier, the reason doesn't change that he attacked his own. The deck was silent for a minute; no one had moved a muscle since Luffy spoke.

Zoro broke the silence, "I can't do that."

Some people gasped and he felt the anger of the crowd grow. Luffy's glare intensified.

" I cannot see that path for myself anymore. I don't deserve it."

Zoro removed two of his swords from his belt and laid them in front of him. His third, Kuina's sword Wado Ichimonji, he held in front of his self with both hands.

" I leave these two behind. I no longer deserve these blades. I will return this sword to my master. I hope one day.....it finds someone worthy."

Luffy turned his back. He was visibly trembling. He was about to let his oldest friend leave. He didn't have a choice. He owed it to the rest of his crew, he couldn't just let this go unpunished. He couldn't show favouritism. This was why he never wanted a fleet, executives or followers. All he ever wanted was trustworthy friends. A small crew, big enough to fill the space his brother left. Now, the one person he wanted to cling to most, had to leave. He hated being in that position. All he wanted to do was escape from this tragedy.

"Do as you wish." Is all Luffy said before he walked towards a door that led inside the ship. Nami closely followed behind. Zoro stood with Kuina's sword in hand. He saw through the port hole window in the door Luffy stop walking. Nami approached as the captain crumbled, clutching at his hair. He slouched to the ground and out of sight as Nami tried to console him. Zoro felt tears flow from his one good eye.

A boat was quietly lowered into the water. Zoro climbed aboard and looked up at the tearful faces of his peers, all but Sanji. Zoro left without a single parting word between them.

The ship moved on to a destination Zoro would never know. That fact shook him.

Where he was left was not far from the island they were on previous. Zoro started towards it. He held his head in his hands. He could no longer hold back his sorrow. All he could picture was Luffy's look of disbelief, all he could hear was Luffy's quivering voice and all he could smell was the salt of tears.

"How did I fail you so badly?! I'm such a fool! I don't deserve to love you! I hate that I fell for you!" He screamed at himself over and over again, the things he couldn't say when he was before Luffy. 

"Why couldn't I have died in your place! Kuina! Why did you leave me to this sorrow!"

He held Wado Ichimoji and drew it. He clasped a hand over the blade, gripping it until blood was drawn.

"What was the point of this life? To find love and then to have everything taken from me before I could even seize that love?"

Zoro's haki was involuntarily being poured into the blade. His hand shook as the sharp edge dug into his flesh. Zoro screamed to the empty air, the ship long gone past the horizon. With his terrifying cry, the blade shattered at the point of contact with his hand. He dropped the hilt and the rest of the pieces fell to his feet.

This was the lowest time in his life he could think of. He swore then he would never wield a blade for himself or anybody....

**Author's Note:**

> I am once again not sure how many chapters this will be. I know I have another wip but I lost my drafts for that one and currently have no motivation to rewrite what I lost. thank you for the views, hope you like this one.
> 
> Also i know there is a lot of vagueness to pieces of this plot, this will not be all of it but even I have a hard time thinking of what could be so bad that it would warrant zoro being kicked out? and I was too lazy to look up ship names and names of the fleet leaders and such, please excuse.


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